A great song and over the top hilarious video about (and produced by) three sisters and the break up of and ensuing meltdowns by their respective boyfriends. I’ve heard this song by HAIM quite a few times and it ALWAYS makes me feel better. This morning was one of those times. After feeling dragged down by stuff, people, organizations and relatives, I woke up to a new day. This is a day of spring cleaning and what better time than summer? Or any time really. I would like to share this video with friends and others who are struggling with, well, just plain unnecessary baggage. Because when it comes down to the wire, that realization needs to happen to set free the burdened. Whatever the burden, there is, hopefully a time of great epiphany. A ‘Hey! I don’t need this in my life!’ and so on.
Gone, then, are the emotionally draining, the nasty, the manipulative, the toxic, and my least favorite, the controlling, and those things/people/relatives/organizations that have long ago ceased to (if they ever did at all) serve to contribute to the greater good in our lives and the lives of others. Not angry, not hateful, just Done. If these entities are hurt/pissed/inconvenienced by your needful departure, so be it. Because if the shoe were on the other foot, they likely wouldn’t care about you either so it pretty much all works out.
Sometimes things change in a moment, and you’re so happy to reconnect. Sometimes, not. And that’s not a bad thing. Even though you’ve been taught to maintain every relationship, marriage, friendship, family member, immediate and otherwise; no matter how toxic, no matter how many times he hits you, no matter how much she says, ‘I’m just kidding.’ after every snide, nasty, meant for you comment, no matter how needy or whiny or sulky or angry at the world, in ways that you could kill the person might be (i.e., he/she keeps fucking him/herself over and it’s everyone else’s fault) you think you need to maintain the ‘relationship’ because society tells you if you were really a good person, you would never ‘Let Them Down.’ How about realizing that none of us will always be ‘a good person?’
That there will be times when you have to walk away, let go and yes, break up. It is at once extremely difficult, and, when the dust settles, profoundly liberating.
Once, someone told me that I said ‘Life is full of disappointments. Let them come from you.’ She thought it hilarious. I wondered if my friend heard that from someone else, because I don’t remember saying it, nor do I think in that way. I dislike disappointing people, perhaps too much. It happens all the time.
Here’s a newsflash: We can’t, nor are we responsible to fulfill another person’s whole being. And guess what? Vice versa. But, I regret hurt I have inflicted on others. My parents, siblings, close friends, and people I did not take adequate time to get to know. I will add at this point, that no one should put up with abuse. No one. Unless you’re a person who abuses the helpless, the elderly, children, animals, any living thing. Then, please, by all means, get that millstone ready. Karma, baby.
So much to say about that, but it’s a blog, and I can go on and on at another time. Just remember…always keep your heart locked tight. I guess what I am using this lyric for is to say guard your heart. Don’t be without love, without compassion, but be aware. And enjoy the freedom that comes with moving on and growing up.
As the good book says: ‘Cast not thy pearls before swine.’ This doesn’t mean that those people are necessarily dirty filthy pigs (even though I don’t feel comfortable ruling out the possibility given normal, human experience), but it serves as a lovely metaphor for moving the fuck on. Bye, bye, and you know what? You’re gonna be okay anyway.